Chapter 3

So I found myself with a big problem.

I sort of evangelized myself....and then I didn't know what to do with myself. I wouldn't go near a church. I tried once and it was all... light blue and white with plain gold cross, and a few lovely protestants with great teeth. can't remember the sermon, but it was probably....very nice......And Catholics were totally out of the question........especially Polish Catholics, I was terrified of them. (My sponser is polish, isn't that funny?)

I was looking for the impossible, a church where I felt comfortable as a Jew....I mean after all Jesus was very very Jewish to my way of thinking and I couldn't understand how all this Jewish stuff turned into...you know...church! I knew nothing about what the Trinity meant, or the divinity of Christ, and when I did learn about all of that, I balked....but I did eventually go to the campus bible study.

I hated it. I well remember going to dinner at someone's home and their parents kept talking about me in the third person:"Look how she talks with her hands! She's so Jewish!" I did have a date or two with a very blond boy who informed me that making the bed without a topsheet was called Jewish style. can anyone verify that? In all my subsequent years with the Goyim I have never heard that again. I did take this fine fellow to see "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". (It was brand new) We laughed ourselves silly and he felt extremely guilty about that. I still think his reaction was even funnier than the movie....should I confess that?

So I just sort of floated along with my secret Christian life of sorts. I was very hungry for fellowship. One Summer I worked in Oneonta, and found myself in a little independant prayer group that had a sign up in the laundromat. Sweet folks, everyone striving, striving , striving to be holy, and a pastor who was into the thing called "Shepherding". What that meant was that he told you what to do, and you did it. He told me I shouldn't go back to college, and I told him to screw it. Actually I didn't, but I should have. Instead, I just went back to Senior year, where I just did what everyone was doing in 1979. Use your imagination.

To be continued......